Closed

August 25, 1999

Reach for my hand

But don’t come too close

Venture forwards slowly

The real me nobody knows.

I open my heart

But I want it closed

That way you can’t see

What the inner me shows.

Although I may love you

I act as if I don’t care

My thoughts I keep to myself

My feelings I don’t share.

Don’t be taken aback

If I seem too aloof

I’ve nothing to win

But everything to lose.

If my words are meaningless

And my smile seems forced

Don’t try to trick me

I cannot be coerced.

I like it this way

Hiding everything I feel

So nothing seems too frightening

Because it doesn’t seem real.

It’s not as if I don’t mind

In fact I actually do

But I am too scared to show

How much I love you.

So when I seem distant

Come closer but stay away

When I feel the time is right

Listen to the words I have to say.

But if I run suddenly

Please don’t believe that it’s you

The task of getting me to open up

Is impossible to do.

It’s not you or your friends

Or the words that you say

Let me keep my feelings inside me

I feel safer that way.